As I’ve mentioned, I’m an extrovert. If bonus points were awarded on the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, I’d test off the charts for extroversion. That means I get energy from being around people. I’m able to keep up a demanding schedule (while caring for a toddler) that would exhaust introverts if they just heard about it. I don’t work very hard for this advantage, therefore, I call it a privilege.
I’m also very outgoing. I’m a social butterfly in most social situations and have no problem talking to strangers. For many years I was unaware of the advantages I received for being an outgoing extrovert. I moved through the world oblivious to the struggles of shy and/or introverted people who felt uncomfortable and/or exhausted in social settings.
Thankfully, I’m now much more self-aware and put energy into making it easier for people who aren’t outgoing extroverts to be part of the conversation. For instance, I could take over any small group conversation by telling a funny story. But, just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.
Instead of being loud and boisterous (possibly read as obnoxious), I’m much more thoughtful about how to engage in social settings. Now, when someone joins my little circle at a networking event I’ll pause the conversation for a second to say to them “Hi there, Bob was just talking about his trip to Alaska” and then turn my attention back to Bob.
Wouldn’t it be great if this was how all outgoing extroverts used their privilege? This kind of welcoming spirit is a natural extension of the conversation and body language tips I spoke about previously.
In episode 8, I emphasized having open body language, remember croissants vs. bagels? Even if you are standing with just one other person you can create a croissant, an opening for others to join you. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, one leg back a bit, with weight on your back leg, torso turned slightly toward whichever foot is in back. Now you are approachable and can easily invite anyone passing by to join the conversation. This simple physical act is one of the best ways to navigate an event and create a welcoming community space.
In a more recent episode, number 28, I shared how you can say very little, ask thoughtful questions, and the person you are speaking with will leave that conversation thinking you’re fascinating.
As an extrovert, you might need a reminder to say less and listen more. I should know. The acronym I keep in mind is W.A.I.T – which stands for “Why am I talking?”
Are you thinking you don’t fit neatly into assumptions made about extroverts and introverts?
Being outgoing doesn’t automatically mean you are an extrovert (and introverts aren’t always shy). These are two different scales and are not directly correlated.
Extraversion and introversion, as measured in the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, is about where you draw your energy. Do you get reenergized being around lots of people or being home alone? Not everyone is distinctly an extrovert or introvert, many people will fall somewhere in between. If you fall right in the middle you might identify as an ambivert.
A separate question is whether you are outgoing or shy. If you are a social butterfly who can talk to just about anyone, you probably identify as outgoing. If you are usually a wallflower in new social situations, you probably identify as shy.
Outgoing introverts are mistaken for extroverts but are exhausted by socializing. Shy extroverts go out often, hate being the center of attention & are assumed to be introverts.
If a person’s sociability is how we determine whether they are an extrovert or introvert we’re likely to get it wrong sometimes. Since extroversion and introversion is also tied to how we process information it can impact workplace dynamics in ways we didn’t expect. You might think you’re building a work team with an even mix of extroverts and introverts, but actually have mostly introverts who are then dominated by the few outgoing extroverts – another common example of extrovert privilege.
To my fellow outgoing extroverts – just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. It’s never too late to W.A.I.T.
ABOUT ROBBIE: www.robbiesamuels.com/about
Business Growth Strategy Coach
Robbie coaches inspiring entrepreneurial women in their 50s and beyond (and a few awesome men) to grow their impact and income by building an audience before launching new revenue streams.
WHO YOU ARE:
You want to have a greater impact and increased income. The problem is that there are so many options for how to build your business that you can feel stuck, overwhelmed, and like you’re running out of time.
The reason options are overwhelming is that you’re looking at them as a series of disconnected steps when to make the most of your time, you need a strategy that connects only the most important and highest impact ones.
You know that if you try to do everything, you’ll accomplish nothing. This means, to achieve your goal, you have to invest in a strategy to put time on your side.
WAYS ROBBIE OFFERS SUPPORT:
As a relationship-based business growth strategist, Robbie will work with you one-on-one to design a year-long plan that consists of three 12-week sprints, each followed by 4 weeks of reflection/assessment, rejuvenation, learning, and strategic planning. This will allow you to sequence your goals, create momentum, and leverage your limited time.
Have a project that you want feedback on or need assistance with a specific strategy? He offers half-day strategy sessions.
Already selling but feeling stuck around how to increase your revenue? Sign up for a one-day mastermind with fellow entrepreneurs to break through to the next level.
Ready to dig into your network to validate a solution you’ve been working on to see if you can build an audience for it before launching? Sign up for 12 Weeks to Create Your Irresistible Offer program.
Want accountability, support, and guidance as you implement your strategic plan? Learn more about his year-long Wake Up Your Network mastermind program.
These are not right for everyone; they're personalized offerings and are priced accordingly.
WHAT MIGHT YOU WORK ON?
In his coaching work with entrepreneurs, his clients focus on the areas where they'd like to grow, which may include:
- Creating a strong sales conversation framework
- Building your referral network
- Lead generation through a relationships
- Growing your visibility in your industry
- Increasing your ability to attract the right kind of clients
- Identifying and launching a minimally viable offer
- Breaking through whatever bottleneck is holding you back from getting the results you want and deserve
- Becoming a published author and marketing your book successfully
- Improving your virtual presentation skills
LEARN MORE AND SCHEDULE A CHAT: www.robbiesamuels.com/coaching
Robbie is excited to support you in reaching or exceeding your goals.
Interested in booking Robbie to speak? At www.robbiesamuels.com/speaking you’ll find video clips and a description of his talks.
Watch his TEDx talk “Hate networking? Stop bageling and be the croissant!” at www.robbiesamuels.com/TEDx.
- Connect with Robbie on LinkedIn
- @RobbieSamuels on Twitter and Instagram
- New to his website? Start here
- On the Schmooze podcast archive – weekly since July 2016!
SIGN UP for his free weekly #NoMoreBadZoom Virtual Happy Hours – www.NoMoreBadZoom.com
Affiliate Links: Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links above are “affiliate links”. This means that if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products and services I use personally and believe will add value to my listeners. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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